And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
