my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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