why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
