The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
