Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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