Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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