I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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