u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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