There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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