Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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