At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
