I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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