well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have post one night stand depression
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