Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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