summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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