somebody snuck up and got me drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
