the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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