Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
