weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
