ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize