Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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