Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize