You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
