yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
