is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
