how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The air was thick with penises
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
