I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
