i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
pray to the hookup gods
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
