Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
They are going to name an STD after you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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