As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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