im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
