you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
