Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
