his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
should my penis look like a turkey
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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