Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
