Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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