My Higher Power is John Stamos
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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