I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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