Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
