I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
