Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize