Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
