Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
