He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
please come you make the beer taste better
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will be naked everywhere
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
