pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
