I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
