I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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