dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Even my vagina gasped.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
