He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
