When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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