Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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