I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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