the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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