Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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