i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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