She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
