When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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