his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
