her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
